• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
GO TO EXPAT LIVING SINGAPORE
GET OUR NEWSLETTER

Expat Living Hong Kong HomepageExpat Living Hong Kong

Moving to Hong Kong and not sure where to start? Expat Living is the essential lifestyle guide to living in Hong Kong.

Menu
  • Living In Hong Kong
      • Living Here
      • Where To Live
      • Schools
      • For Guys
        • Sailing in Hong Kong - inclusive sailing courses by charity SailabilityMaking sailing accessible to everyone
        • We chat with two GSIS families
        • 6 super reasons to visit sky100
        • A New Home in The New Territories
      • View all
    Close
  • Things To Do
      • Things To Do
      • What’s On/Calendar
      • Competitions & Offers
        • Reclusive Means Exhibition at Pearl Lam Galleries Hong KongTop 35 Best Things To Do In Hong Kong This Weekend
        • 6 super reasons to visit sky100
        • Best playgrounds & parks for the kids
        • What to watch this month – Netflix & more!
      • View all
    Close
  • Kids
      • Activities & Things To Do
      • Education & Enrichment
      • Health & Wellness
      • Mums & Babies
      • Podcasts
        • We chat with two GSIS families
        • A boarding school with wildlife on the doorstep!
        • Children's teeth and bracesKids and braces – all you need to know
        • Child reading for web article on Books and Brains - helping children with reading and phonicsHelp for children struggling with reading
      • View all
    Close
  • Homes
      • Home Décor
      • Readers Homes
        • A New Home in The New Territories
        • Transforming an old Hong Kong junk
        • Image of Altfield home furnishings showroomWhere to get designer home furnishings
        • Hong Kong People: Meet Laura Pezza
      • View all
    Close
  • Travel
      • Short Breaks
      • Further Afield
      • Travel News & Offers
        • Mount KinabuluClimbing Mount Kinabalu in Sabah
        • Son Doong CaveJourney into the world’s largest cave
        • Famous movie locations in Asia - Hong Kong - Gage Street8 Famous Movie Locations in Asia
        • Gaining access to an EU passport
      • View all
    Close
  • Wine & Dine
      • Recipes & Groceries
      • Bars & Restaurants
        • 6 super reasons to visit sky100
        • Popcorn Shrimp with Spicy Honey Mayo
        • Indulgent chocolate cake - recipeRecipe: Indulgent Chocolate Cake
        • Spicy Asian Coleslaw - recipeRecipe: Spicy Asian Coleslaw
      • View all
    Close
  • Style & Beauty
      • Fashion
      • Hair & Beauty
        • where to get botox in hong kongBotox in Hong Kong – All you need to know
        • Where to buy (and sell!) watches
        • Face masks, spa products, body scrubsWe test body scrubs, creams, masks & more!
        • Hong Kong Spas - Spa at Four Seasons Hong Kong - facial and body treatmentTried and Tested: 2 Luxury Spa Treatments
      • View all
    Close
  • Health & Fitness
      • Medical & Dental
      • Fitness
      • Wellness
        • family dental clinics and dentists in Hong KongFamily Dental Clinics and Dentists in HK
        • Children's teeth and bracesKids and braces – all you need to know
        • Safe & healthy eating during pregnancy
        • Couples therapy for divorce and separation, MindNLife Hong KongDivorce: how to break up with dignity
      • View all
    Close
  • Shop
    • Magazine
    • Advertise With Us
    • Close

Rated PG: Should I go back to work?

30 December, 2020 by Expat Living 3 Min Read

https://expatliving.hk/parenting-staying-at-home-vs-going-to-work-orla-breeze/

In our regular parenting column, advisor, writer and mother of three Orla Breeze discusses the benefits (or not!) of being a stay at home mum.

Home and away

I was a Stay-at-Home Mum. Then I wasn’t. Then I was. And now I find myself in a No-(Wo)Man’s-Land somewhere between being home all the time and away all the time. It’s complicated.

But throughout my reign as Greatest Mother of All Time (according to my kids, that is, except for when they feel the complete opposite), one of the most discussed topics has been around the benefits of staying at home versus going to work. (And yes, that is a joke. Anyone who parents knows that whether you’re home or away, it’s a fulltime, 24/7 job without pay, holiday leave, or even time for a full cup of coffee. Am I right, people?)

 

The great debate

The first piece of research I heard on the subject was firmly in the corner of the SAHMs. And that made me happy because that’s exactly what I was at the time. But the next piece of research made me sad because this time it was the Go-To-Work Mums – henceforth known as GTWMs – who were winning. (It also made me a bit jealous because I secretly wanted to be out there in the workforce taking a break from parenthood.) (And yes, that’s a joke too because – all together now – there is no break from parenthood!)

But my point is that if one piece of research says one thing, and the next says the other, that must mean there’s merit to both. Right? And if there’s merit to both then why are we still debating it?

If a GTWM is showing her kids how to be strong, independent and responsible, and those kids benefit by becoming happy adults, then great! If the presence of a SAHM improves her child’s academic achievement, stability and sense of well-being, then that’s great too! And if both sets of kids grow up with equal opportunity then guess what? Flippin’ GREAT!

This habit of pitting one Mum against another when neither is winning nor losing the debate in the first place, has to stop. Because only one thing comes from it. Yup! The BIG G! (That’s Guilt, in case I hadn’t made that clear.) And before you go thinking that I’m ignoring the Dads here, I’m really not. My point is pointed at them too. Lots of Dads feel guilty about not being there for their kids all of the time, especially those whose schedule requires a lot of travel. Knowing that a kid can handle Dad not being present in every moment is a good thing to know.

Quality not quantity

However, I have something to add to this – don’t I always? There’s another level at play here that’s about more than the amount of time a parent is in their child’s presence. Just to clarify, SAHMs are not spending every moment of every day intently focused on their kids’ emotional and educational development. (As a former SAHM, I certainly wasn’t!) So it’s really not about the amount of time you’re physically with your children. It’s about what you are doing and how you are being when that time comes. And that’s whether your daily routine allows you to spend all of your time with them, or only some. It’s quality not quantity. Make the time you give them enjoyable for both of you, and that’s what they’ll take with them on their journey to adulthood.

Debate done!

 

See more in our kids section

Getting the best out of  our kids

Teen reviewers put these hair removal places to the test

Where to find glittering girls jewellery

This article first appeared in the December/January 2018/19 issue of Expat Living magazine. Subscribe now so you never miss an issue.

Categories: Kids Mums & Babies Tags: Hong Kong Mums Mum Rated PG Stay-at-Home Mum

Get the latest events, stories and special offers
sent to your inbox.

By signing up, you'll receive our bimonthly newsletters and offers, which you can unsubscribe to anytime.

You May Also Like

A boarding school with wildlife on the doorstep!

A Day in the Life of a Boarder at MCM

Pregancy in Hong Kong - maternity care at Matilda International Hospital

Pregnant in HK? What you need to know

Primary Sidebar

  • COMPETITIONS & OFFERS
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Subscribe

© 2023 Expat Living Hong Kong, All Rights Reserved.