Congratulations! Youโve gone and got yourself a lady friend. So now that youโve got her, how are you going to keep her? As many of you are already (painfully) aware, itโs not as simple as it sometimes looks. Itโs very easy to freak out a new girlfriend. Sheโs treading carefully, making baby steps with you just to make sure sheโs not falling in love with an axe murderer, or worse, a boring weirdo. Here is our guide on what to do and what not to do in a new relationship.
1. Be the nice guy
Donโt be thinking that acting cool, aloof and a little hard to get will make her more interested. Sheโll be moving onto the next fool before you can say โIโm busy on Saturdayโ. You like her, so let her know. Donโt wait more than a day before texting back. You wonโt seem too keen, we promise. Donโt forget to ask her lots of questions. You may not realise itโs happening but youโll be judged and regularly tested on this. Remember her siblingโs name, exactly what she does at work, her hometown and how she likes her tea.
2. Secrets and lies
Donโt lie when she asks you a question. Masterfully avoid it, by all means โ but donโt lie. Sheโll find out eventually โ and women remember everything. Everything. Donโt feel the need to discuss your exes at length, even if she asks. She may be curious; thatโs cool, but donโt follow the bait. Likewise, donโt ask her about hersโฆ you donโt want to know, really.
3. Dream on dreamer
Maybe youโre gone. Head over high heels and thinking this chick will be warming your heart and bed for the rest of your life. Well, thatโs great. Maybe youโre right, but please donโt discuss these things with her just yet. She doesnโt need to know that youโve always dreamed of a barefoot beach wedding and that youโre dead keen on calling your first-born Ronaldo (or Ronalda). Save these precious gems until youโre absolutely both on the same page.
4. Give her space, cowboy
Donโt message her 32 times a day and donโt try to make plans more than three months in advance. Sheโll be outta there. Also, donโt book her in more than three times a week. This is important in a couple of ways. Firstly, youโll freak her out with your neediness. Secondly, you both need time to see your mates. She needs to discuss every aspect of you A LOT with her friends to make sure youโre the right guy. Just understand this and let it happen.
5. Letโs talk about sex
Yes, itโs amazing at the start of a relationship. It is. But just because youโre both crazy hornbags right now doesnโt mean this will last forever. So enjoy. But donโt be fooled into thinking that your current sex god status gives you free rein to suddenly introduce previously unintroduced โgamesโ or toys to the situation. Hold your weird sex cards close and youโll have a killer hand to play later, when things start to dull.
6. Consider your presence and your presents
Donโt go overboard with the gift-giving. โBut women love gifts!โ youโre shouting, and itโs true, they do. But consider wisely. Showering her with gifts will make her feel she has to return the favour and youโll only stress her out. Plus, youโll peak too early and where will that leave you when sheโs actually expecting stuff? By all means offer up a book you love or tickets to something great, but draw the line at anything sparkly. Thatโs unless youโre Donald Trump or Prince Harry. In that case, carry on.
7. For your bride you must groom
You may have been living in a funk of singledom, with a floordrobe of dirty socks and pizza boxes, but itโs time to clean up your act. While you may plan to slip back into this trampy, smelly lifestyle at around six months in, right now itโs just not cool. Make an effort when youโre meeting her. No need for any manscaping or experimentation with man bags but a proper shave and a clean shirt are very good starting points.
8. Watch your words
Donโt say โI love youโ until youโre pretty (definitely) certain youโll get the same response. There is no worse passion killer than an, โohh, thatโs niceโ response to the first time you utter those three little words. Donโt introduce her as your girlfriend too quickly, either. Simply introduce her as, I donโt know, her name? Donโt get all emotional on her too quickly. Sheโs not your therapist or your mum.
9. No farting just yet
Donโt get too comfortable too quickly. Yes, she knows you fart (she does too, shockingly) but she doesnโt need to hear (or smell) them for the first few months. Donโt leave too much stuff at her place at this delicate stage either. We get it, itโs annoying lugging your stuff over there all the time but if she wakes up to your dirty gym kit in the corner and your toothbrush all snug in her bathroom you may not be comfortable for long.
10. Counting the day
Donโt ever use terms such as โour two-week anniversaryโ. Honestly? You sound like a girl.
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